Best Intentions: Intention Cues

When we’re thinking about something we would like to do, our bodies often telegraph it. In fact, there is an entire subclass of body language displays known as intention cues. These cues indicate what someone is about to do or would like to do. Nearly all intention cues are the beginning part of a full action.

Foot Pointing

People lead with their feet. When a person goes from standing to walking, their feet are the first part of their body to move toward their destination. When someone is standing and getting ready to move, they will start by turning one foot in the direction they intend to head. If you’re speaking with someone and they turn one of their feet so it’s pointing away from you, they’re probably looking to end the conversation and be on their way (Navarro 60; Pease 141).

This woman wants to leave but is too polite to say anything

People also tend to direct their feet at the object of their attention. Imagine a circle of three guys and one girl. The guys are only speaking to each other, and the girl remains there seemingly uninvolved with the conversation. On the surface, it appears that the men are ignoring her. However, all three of the men have their feet pointed towards her. This indicates that they may be speaking to each other to show off for her without the frank admission of interest that would come of looking directly at her. This type of display is not strictly an intention cue, but it is something you need to keep in mind in order to not misinterpret foot pointing (O’Reilly; Pease 141).

Knee Clasp

When someone is seated, they go through a predictable set of movements to lift themselves to a standing position. They will clasp their knees with their hands, leaning forward to shift their weight. If you see a person who has stopped in this position, they are telegraphing their intention to get up from their chair (Navarro 62; Givens 60). If you’re having a seated conversation with someone who is making this gesture, there is a good chance that they intend to stand up and end the conversation.

Lips

When negotiating a kiss, people usually glance at their partner’s lips and then back to the eyes. Starting as infants, we tend to look more at things that we find pleasing. Since you can also aim your kiss better if you look at your target, it’s unsurprising that we glance at the lips that we want to kiss. So if you look at your date’s lips and they return the favor, it’s a strong go-ahead signal.

Reaching Out

People who long to touch each other will sometimes reach their arms out, often across the table, in a subconscious effort to be closer (Givens 53). If you see your date with his or her arms on the table, extended towards you, the date’s probably going pretty well.

References

1. Givens, David B. Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship. New York: St. Martin’s, 2005. Print.
2. Navarro, Joe, and Marvin Karlins. What Every BODY Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-reading People. New York, NY: Collins Living, 2008. Print.
3. O’Reilly, Peter. “Bipedics: Towards a new category of kinesics.-An empirical investigation of the expression of attitude, and emotion, through simple leg and foot gesture.” (2012).
4. Pease, Allan, and Barbara Pease. The Definitive Book of Body Language. New York: Bantam, 2006. Print.

Confidence in hand: Steepling

Map depicting the portion of the sensory cortex devoted to different body parts

When looking for body language clues, the hands are an often overlooked region. This is rather unfortunate because, relative to their size, the hands occupy a disproportionately large region of the motor and sensory cortices of the brain (Sherwood 148-150). What does that mean exactly? It suggests that the hands are both very sensitive and very good at making finely controlled movements. Likewise, the hands are also very adept at expressing our inner emotional states.

The most confident position for the hands is referred to as steepling. To make this gesture, place the tips of your fingers against the corresponding fingers of the other hand. The palms of your hands should be apart and the fingers spread apart. People sometimes separate and rejoin their fingers to the rhythm of their speech to help drive home their point.

Nicholas Sarkozy displaying confidence with his hands

Although the photo to the left depicts the most prominent display of steepling, there are some notable variations. Some people will have just their pointer finger and thumb pointing out, with the rest of their fingers interlaced. Not everyone steeples in front of their chest either. Some people prefer to steeple under their desk, in their lap, or at their waist.

Low confidence displays of the hands involve  finger interlacing. If during the course of a conversation a person switches from steepling to interlaced fingers, you should take note–whatever that person just thought, said or heard made them lose a bit of confidence. The reverse is true for a person who changes from interlaced fingers to a steeple display (Navarro 147-150; Nierenberg 94).

A stock photography model shows off a low confidence display

When someone has interlaced their fingers, the tightness with which they press their fingers together is related to how anxious they are feeling. This is an example of a pacifying behavior (Navarro 35). People who are feeling more insecure will press their fingers tighter than those who are less anxious. Although steepling and finger interlacing are often performed subconsciously, these are certainly gestures that you can consciously choose to display in social or business encounters. Steepling at appropriate times will not only make others perceive you as more confident, but it will also make you feel more confident in what you are saying or doing.

References

1. Navarro, Joe, and Marvin Karlins. What Every BODY Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-reading People. New York, NY: Collins Living, 2008. Print.
2. Nierenberg, Gerard I., and Henry H. Calero. How to Read a Person like a Book. New York: Hawthorn, 1971. Print.
3. Sherwood, Lauralee. Human Physiology: From Cells to Systems. Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, Cengage Learning, 2013. Print.